Life lately has been filled with a lot of dogs. We’ve been watching my parents’ two dogs during the work week for about five months now and it really has been enjoyable having pups around. It’s made us rethink getting one for ourselves though since it feels like quite the full house as it is. Although I loved the idea of having a corgi to snuggle with, Tardis the cat demands more of the spotlight.
We’ve also been doing a lot of decorating in our place lately. Furnishing and decorating our house is something we didn’t want to rush in the first year since we had to get used to a lot of new expenses. Plus a wedding thrown in there really dampens the decorating budget. We finally finished up organizing the sand collection and are working on adding more
everything to our bedroom. A neighborhood friend built us
a lovely TV stand and a new desk is in my future!
The rest of our days have been filled with working, family time, and a lot of robe wearing. So much so that I wrote
an ode to this Erin Condren robe. You know it’s serious when it gets its own blog post. I’m sure you’ve gotten the vibe that change is in the air at the Benda household and we’re just weeks away from finally sharing everything we’ve been working on.
If you’re ever interested in more life updates, we post vlogs fairly regularly on our
vlog channel. Prepare yourself for a lot of messy hair, un-showered Kayla footage.
What’s been going on in your life lately?
One thing has become painfully obvious after two years of working from home. It’s hard to make new friends. Sure I could ditch the robe and start hanging out at coffee shops trying to meet people, but that seems like an expensive habit to pick up without any guaranteed results for new besties. So I resorted to the online variety with mixed results. I’d message someone here or there, but my heart just wasn’t in it.
The entire process has got me thinking a lot about how to make friends as an adult and I’ve realized something. You should make friends like you did in kindergarten. Man kindergartners have it made. It’s so dang easy for them to just walk up to someone, ask to play together, and presto hashtag bff 5ever. Adulthood friendships are a whole different story. Or are they?
Recently I’ve started this new “Kindergarten Method” (spread the word!) and much to my surprise, it’s working. If I meet someone or see someone I want to be friends with, I just ask to hang out or send them a message. No worrying about whether or not they’ll like me back, if I’m bothering them, or if we have anything in common. I also don’t bother to think about whether that person is “more famous” or has a bigger footprint on the interwebs. People are just people no matter how many followers they have. Kindergartners don’t care whether another kid has fancier toys; they ask to play anyway.
At first this sent my introvert heart into a tizzy and I wasn’t sure how I’d manage all this social interaction, but once I completely stopped carrying or worrying about all the stupid pressures adulthood adds to friendship, it became a hell of a lot easier. Plus no one is ever like, “Ew someone is being nice to me and making conversation. Grab the pitchforks.” Making new friends is hard for everyone regardless of social ineptitude. The Kindergarten Method just takes away all the unneeded pomp and circumstance attached with it.
I’ll break it down for you.
The Kindergarten Method
Step 1: Choose a person you want to become friends with
Step 2: Talk to them
Step 3: Become friends
And if someone doesn’t actually want to be your friend, doesn’t respond, or you find out that you are just not compatible, no sweat. I’ve reached out to people with no response dozens of times. It’ll happen. You can’t be best friends with everyone, but you could be missing out on great friends because you haven’t even tried. The whole, “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never love at all” applies to friendships too. Put yourself out there you feisty best friend in the making, you.
So pull out that box of crayons, tap back into your kindergarten self, and stop being afraid to meet new people. I’m definitely not anymore.
Our bedroom got a new addition recently and I’ve been in #shelfie mode ever since. Plus with a new budget keeping our excess spending in check, I had to get creative with how I decorated it. Didn’t want to spend that precious eating out money on decorations. Girl needs her noms.
After adding a few things here and there of items I already owned, a formula for shelf-decorating success started to pop up in my head. Some super simple rules to follow to decorate a new shelf with items you already owned. And it’s basically a no brainer.
First up, find a few bins. I shamefully have a box full of them in our basement waiting for their future storage glory. I picked two that matched and toted them back upstairs. I chose two different sizes for a bit of of an unbalanced look. You can store anything you want in them (blankets, movies, etc.) but my
squishy collection demanded a spot. Plus it adds a fun pop of personalty and color.
Next find a few travel or life souvenirs. This Tardis Alex made me out of a beer box to ask me to be his girlfriend. It lights up and everything. I’m still quite impressed to this day so I love having it out on display. It’s an interesting element to add to the shelf, but also sentimental as well. Win win.
Then add some plants. A living element does wonders to the look of a shelf and brightens up a space. I’m a big fan and in a quest to put at least one plant in every room of the house.
Pile on more trinkets, collections, or mementos. We all have things we collect, so why not put some on display to spark conversation and add personality to a space. My
Gilmore Girls figurines demanded it really.
Stagger your boxes so they don’t weigh down one side of your shelf more than the other. Then pop in some old magazines, a few of your favorite books, or in my case planner supplies. We all have them so why not give them a second life?
Photos are also a super easy addition to styling a shelf and you probably have a few printed up here and there already. Or it’s a great excuse to finally get a photo printed to put in that frame you bought a while ago.
Keep it simple.
Let your shelf breathe. You don’t need to jam pack it full of items and things. I love leaving a section blank or with just a few items to make the shelf seem lighter and with room for potential. Kinda like I didn’t try and style it at all, it just sort of happened. Plus Tardis loves this thing and lays on it constantly in the open spaces.
A lot of these items you probably already own so grab a few, lay them all out, and start styling your shelf.
There are a lot of things as small business owners we don’t feel comfortable talking about. Definitely in the planner community. It’s one of the closest tight-knit groups of girl bosses I’ve ever experienced, and yet we almost altogether avoid on thing in particular. Talking about failure.
Failure is a part of small business. It’s an active, scary, necessary evil part of it. Not everything I do works. Probably 40% of it does. New releases flop, sales don’t bring in the revenue we were looking for, and most of the time the cutting machines rather be doing anything but cutting. Failure is a part of the struggle, but it’s also a part of the triumph.
I don’t necessarily think our business is failing in the “close up shop and find a new calling” sort of way, but change is in the air for Oh, Hello. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. The same can be said about business. You can’t constantly do the same thing time and time again and expect it to always work. The times are a changin’ and we have to get with them.
The first big change? It’s actually quite simple. I’m saying ‘no’ more. I’m trimming back on my to do list, prioritizing what’s important, and no longer spreading myself so thin. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be, cutting back. Not being able to do everything all the time does tend to feel like failure in my book, but I know it’s for the best. For my business yes, but mostly for my mental health.
I don’t think we’re done with stickers just yet, but we don’t have plans to put all our eggs into one adhesive filled basket. I’m excited to share the journey with you once we figure it out ourselves.
And sorry for the blogging hiatus. Priorities are finally getting back in order.
Much love and embrace the failure.
Everyone always talks about the importance of setting goals, but I’m basically rubbish at it. I’ve never been good at writing goals down and I’m even worse at checking back in to see progress. That’s no excuse to not set goals though. So I’m working my butt off to be better at it. I’m on a quest of sorts.
Lucky for me it seems like Erin Condren sensed my silent plea for better goal management when the new planners came with a spiffy new monthly notes page. It screams “track your goals here” and I’m trying just that. With July nearly over and my first attempt at better goal tracking nearing its close, I definitely still have a lot to learn. But I’m improving.
The most notable realization I gained from the first month is the difference between hopes and goals. This month I had “hoped” to film more Kawaii Bunny videos. When in reality, it wasn’t a goal I felt really passionate about. I wrote it down as a goal hoping the process would motivate me to do it. Really it just added more pressure to my busy schedule and made me feel like I let myself down when I couldn’t accomplish it. So for August I’m going to work on more obtainable, realistic goals for projects I’m already working on. That way I’m not trying to veer off in a random direction, but rather continue to focus on things I’m already doing.
I also need to learn how to celebrate completed goals. Although Kawaii Bunny ended up not being a very great goal, the other three goals I set for myself were. I accomplished all of them, yet I didn’t celebrate it. Giving yourself a pat on the back is important, regardless of how silly or small your goals may be.
So I continue this quest to set better goals. I keep the SMART goals list in the back of my mind, but I also want to focus on goals that work towards self-care as well. It’s so easy to constantly focus on work, but taking care of myself should also be on the list.
Do you have any advice on how to set goals? What types of goals are you currently working towards?
I hear it a lot. “Someday we’ll move.” “Oh, someday I’ll start that business.” “I’ll get to it someday, but I just don’t have the time right now.” So many people in my life are constantly dreaming about a better future filled with doing things they’re passionate about, but they never seem to get any of their dreams off the ground.
I’ve taken a lot of career risks for only being twenty-five. Quitting a “stable” job to pursue a career in sticker making isn’t exactly logical, but I’m not going to become someone who lives for “someday.” And neither should you.
Alex loves the saying, “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the next best time is today.” I’m not saying to quit your day job or achieve your goal in a day, but I think it’s important to actually start working towards your goals rather than just talking about them.
Because at the end of the day, it matters more to you whether or not you’ve done anything you’ve talked about, than it does to me. The same goes with my friends and family. You’re responsible for how your life ends up and if you’re not interested in reading a list of regrets at the end of it, I suggest you start now.
So turn someday into today. Start working on that novel you’ve talked about writing, or start that YouTube channel. Start doing research on opening your own brick and mortar or start taking dance classes. Let’s all vow to stop being those people who are constantly dreaming and never bothering to work towards those dreams. Even if it’s only a little forward progress each day, at least you’re moving.
