Let’s be honest. I never thought I’d have the ovaries to write a post like this. Here I am just airing out all my personal laundry for the world to see. But you know what? It’s important. It’s so important to me that I allow myself to be vulnerable and share these usually kept secret things. Because we are all going through something in some shape or form. And we all could use a post saying that we aren’t alone. My hope is that when I truly need it, I’ll find a post like this one to help me through a tough time. So I hope this post can do that for you too.
I’ve talked a bit about my anxiety journey in videos before, but I haven’t really unpacked the baggage that is my depression. Mostly because it took me a while to realize that’s what I was. Depressed. I thought I couldn’t possibly be. There’s nothing “wrong” in my life. I’m in a happy marriage, have family and friends who love me, and have a rewarding job. And yet despite all the surface things, I still felt like shit. I slept a lot. I stopped caring about work. I didn’t have the drive or interest to hang out with people. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and just…NOT. Yet despite all the signs, I couldn’t possibly believe that I, Kayla Benda, was in fact, depressed.
I chalked most of my feelings up as symptoms of my anxiety. And sure some of them might have been, but most of them weren’t. During this time I started taking medication for my anxiety when I started to feel a panic attack coming on. Still in denial about my depression, I went to a doctor’s appointment to discuss how the anxiety medication and I were getting on. As I waited for the doctor, a nurse handed me a survey to fill out. On a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being most days, how often do you feel hopeless? How frequently do you have trouble staying focused? How often do you feel worry that things will never get better?
Before I knew what was happening, I was in tears. This form literally described me to a tee and the flood gates opened. My doctor consoled me and suggested depression medication to see if that could curb some of these feelings. I left with a prescription I didn’t expect to receive that day.
I started taking depression medication back in October and kept it between my husband and myself for months, not comfortable sharing with even my close knit family out of embarrassment. I felt like a failure for needing help to “feel better.” But as the medication began to really kick in over the next few months and regulate the chemical levels in my brain, it became incredibly obvious how much I truly needed some help.
So here I am almost eight months later and feeling like myself again. Now I know the medication route is not for everyone, but it’s definitely for me. I’m hopefully that one day I may be able to ween off of the prescription, but in the meantime, I’m completely happy with the assistance. I’m also more than aware that you can’t be “cured” of depression. It’s something I’m sure I’ll be living with and navigating my entire life. But there’s comfort in knowing that there is a way to feel better. Whether it’s therapy, medication, or a nice long hiatus to Sweden, there are things out there to help.
Although 2018 felt packed with travel and conferences, 2019 is already shaping up to blow last year away. Before my trip to Las Vegas for Go Wild a few weeks ago, I hadn’t traveled alone in years. The itch to push myself out of my comfort zone is real these days as I actively work towards challenging my anxiety and depression. It just seems like the next step to tackling apprehensions and looking fear in the face and saying, “Watch me do it anyway.”
My profession has opened up a bunch of opportunities to travel and teach workshops at planner events. It’s definitely an unexpected side effect of my business, but I’ve completely embraced it with thankful and open arms. Who knew this introvert could get so much joy out of teaching workshops, but you don’t know until you give it a go, right? Usually my husband Alex tags along with me, but his promotional business has been really taking off and giving him a lot of travel opportunities as well. So we’re doing what any two-business couple has to, divide and conquer.
The Vegas trip although brief, showed me a lot about myself. I transferred flights, took my first Uber ride alone, and navigated hotel registration all on my own. I’ve always just relied on Alex’s extroverted personality to handle things for me. But I did them. And you know what? I barely even broke a nervous sweat in the process.
So I want to do even more solo travel this year. Why? Just because I want to see if I can do it. It’s so easy to fall into a routine of taking the easy way out and letting Alex do all the social interactions, but if Vegas taught me anything it’s that I’m more than capable to do it on my own. And that’s a pretty empowering feeling.
So if you’re unsure about travelling alone, try to really figure out what you’re so nervous about. Is it finding your gate at the airport? Is it navigating a ride from the airport to the hotel? Once you figure out what exactly you’re worried about, then you can actively work to put things in place so you won’t be anymore. Ask the front desk which gate you’re supposed to be at. Schedule an Uber ride ahead of time or take a taxi from the taxi line. And don’t let the fear of solo travel keep you from doing it. You’ll be surprised at how smoothly it’ll go.
Back in 2014, the planner sticker industry felt like the wild west. Shops were few and far between and every idea worked. I’m ashamed at some of the low quality items I sold thinking they were gems. Here we are five years later and it’s definitely a different world. New shops pop up every day and there’s been a noticeable shift in the sticker shop world that will continue to change in the next few years.
I predict that by the time 2020 rolls around, a lot of shops will start closing. Whether they just lost interest or aren’t making the income they expected, a lot of shops are going to turn the metaphorical closed sign for good. The sticker world isn’t an easy one. Competition is stiff and margins thin to the point that a good amount of people will likely throw in the towel rather than hang on. The competition will only get worse as box stores continue to try and get their share of the planner cash cow.
We’ve already started to see more established shops going after bigger fish like Michael’s. The gap between smaller, start up shops and larger shops will continue to grow wider as time goes on. Even Oh, Hello has its eyes on bigger things than just making stickers.
But amidst all the competition and closed shops, creativity is really going to shine. You can’t stick with the norm and expect things to sell anymore. I cannot wait to see the amazing, creative products my fellow business owners come up with in the coming years.
So yeah. The sticker world isn’t what it used to be…but you know, what? Good. Planner addicts deserve amazing products to help make their lives more organized and colorful and tough competition will lead to just that. Oh, Hello doesn’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon either.
It’s alarming to think that it’s already been a week since I came home from Las Vegas. My first Go Wild Conference could not have been more amazing (and of course I filmed the whole thing) and I wanted to document it better than I ever have before.
This is my first attempt at a memory book and I’ve learned a ton of tips and tricks in the process of putting this one together. I’ll lay those on ya as we go through some of my favorite pages.
If you take any advice away from this post, it should be this. Bring adhesivewith you. I LOVE this adhesive runner from Tombow because it makes everything super easy without making a huge mess. It made attaching room keys, postcards, and random odds and ends incredibly simple.
I also brought my Polaroid Zip along with me to print photos at the end of each day. I’m the type of person who forgets things easily, so I wanted to make sure I took the time to document each day to remember all the fun details.
A small pair of scissors also proved to be quite useful to cut washi and trim up photos. I didn’t really have any sort of plan when I started this book either. I just put things down as I went along and I loved the freedom of just throwing things into it as I got them. No stress.
Sticker contact cards are the popular way of sharing Instagram names and contact info at planner events these days. I received quite a few within just the first few hours of the conference and I wanted to make sure I had a way to capture them all. I took a few stickers off of every sampler and put them on a couple of different collage pages. I love how it looks when it’s finished and I feel like I’m not wasting stickers I may not use.
Anything I thought I could remotely use in the book, I snagged up. I took brochures at various hotels and maps from help desks. I didn’t use many of them, but I am obsessed with this map of the strip and of course the little llama sticker to mark the conference location.
Our swag bags included a roll of conference washi tape so I disregarded my usual “meh” opinions of washi to create this dashboard on one of the pages. When in Rome right? Or in this case…Vegas…
I do a full flip through of my memory journal in this video if you want to get a better look at all the pages! Do you keep memory books? What are some of your tips and tricks?
It’s the most wonderful time of the year for planner addicts. It’s safe to say that it’s a bigger deal than Christmas. The annual Erin Condren launch of new planners is just around the corner (May 8 my friends!) and I got an early peek at everything coming our way in just a few short days. If you want to see a side by side comparison with this year’s current player, check out my video or head to the bottom of this post.
This year’s first big change is the pattern. Kaleidoscope?! Count me in. I haven’t been this excited about a pattern well, ever. This one definitely ticks all the aesthetic boxes for me. EC has gone away from the zipper pockets and introduced a new planner box where you can store you planner. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of the box for storage purposes, but I’ll definitely be keeping it around as a gift box.
The planner pages have quite a few changes from previous additions and I have some serious mixed feelings. The goals page from the front of the planner is more or less unchanged, but there’s a new quote and the addition of lines.
The monthly dashboard page is a completely new addition to this year’s planner. And I must say, I’m not a fan. I know a TON of planner addicts will love this, but I miss older renditions that didn’t have so much structure. I’ll give it a go though and see if I’m just being a grandma about it and not welcoming change.
The monthly view also has me a bit “meh.” I already miss the full color header and hate the tiny pattern strips. The new pattern is so gorgeous so why is it so tiny and unimportant on the monthly page? Plus there’s a colored sidebar (shown in more detail in the video) that has me not thrilled.
The weekly view definitely makes up for a lot of what the monthly view lacks. Sure I don’t currently use a weekly view, but this has me feeling the itch to go back. I love the date in the corner, the rounded edges, and the colored bottom boxes.
I mean just look at that pastel goodness.
Near the back of the planner is a new page that instantly gives me InkWell Pressvibes. This page is unlike anything I’ve seen the EC team produce and I’m not quite sure what the point of it is. Goals? Tracking? I’m looking forward to seeing what other planner people have in mind for this one…
With the new planner comes a whole slew of new accessories to go along with it. There is a larger pack of markers (four of which are brand new), a new sticker book, and a new planny pack.
There are new clip in bookmarks as well.
But my favorite new launch has to be this gorgeous ballpoint pen. I’m a bit worried about the price of it (yet to be announced when I wrote this post), because it’s such a gorgeous pen that I don’t want to have to spend an arm and a leg each time I want a new one.
Overall I think this new launch is good, but it just doesn’t blow me away. There are quite a few design choices that I’m just not a fan of, despite completely loving the new pattern.
Be sure to check out the video if you want to see a side by side comparison to the current planner as well as all the accessories that are launching May 8th.
In celebration of the Erin Condren launch I’m giving away a bundle of new accessories! To enter, fill out the form below.
